Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Friendship lost

In the process of reclaiming this blog. That is, giving Baby Z his own space on the internet so that I can get back to writing about me. It's tricky right now because we're having computer issues. Stay tuned for his big blog reveal!


I have been going though a friendship breakup. I went through the classic signs.
Denial: Just because my life is different now does not mean I can't still have the same friends! Friendships are not meant to end. Maybe we are just entering another phase of our friendship.  
Anger: Yeh, the phase where I call and call and get no response.That's really fair!
Bargaining: Maybe if I just wait it out. She'll come around.
Doubt: What did I do? What did I not do? Why won't she call?
And finally acceptance came when I finally allowed myself to be in control again. Waiting around for someone's friendship is just as bad as pining away for the captain of the football team. At some point you pull your head out of the clouds and deal with the fact that friendships, like relationships, need nurturing, and two people who are equally committed to making it work.

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, love to complement your life.”

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Asparagus pee

I guess this is why there is no asparagus baby food sold in a jar. Pediatrician recommended that we give Z more veggies, as I've been feeding him more fruits. (This is b/c I've been making it myself, and fruits are just easier since there's no cooking involved.) So I steamed some asparagus and put it in the chopper. At first he wasn't thrilled by it, and I even had to mix the last few bites with apple sauce. But I think it was more because it was warm, and he's used to food being room temperature, because he ate up the second serving and wanted more.
And now, we know exactly when he's peed in his diaper because the smell is so, so strong. He's getting changed a lot more frequently today!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Fifth month

5th month check-up today.
Weight: 16 1/2 pounds (75th percentile)
Height: 27 1/2 inches (90th percentile)

Pediatrician was impressed with his sitting and grasping skills. Afterward, we took the subway into the city and visited the two grandmothers at work. They were very pleased to be able to show off the grand-baby to their co-workers.

At the moment Z is sticking his big toe in his mouth and sucking it like a thumb. And it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

5 months

Having a child forces you (well, me at least) to think of your own mortality. You welcome this responsibility, and want to be there to guide them through the milestones of life. I've never been a person who takes risks, but now I think even more about the dangers of life, and about how it can all come to an end. Just. Like. That. I drive more cautiously, and think quite often about worst case scenarios, no matter how remote.
So, S and I are going to Thailand in April for a friend's wedding. He leaves a few days before I do. My mom is all set (and excited) to watch Z for the week. We come back on the same flight. I naturally think about what would happen if something happened to us on the flight back.
Ah, but even that possibility is too much for me to dwell on. Although the thought of my son growing up without his parents upsets me more that the thought of me dying.
Anyway, there is a lot that goes into leaving your 6 month old child for a week. He's eating solids now, but his primary nutrition still comes from breastmilk. I have to ensure that I have pumped enough to last the seven days, and also that my supply doesn't go down from not breastfeeding for those 7 days. I plan on purchasing a manual pump and hope that I am able to pump regularly while in Thailand. I don't plan on keeping the milk, since it's probably going to go bad during the 22 hour journey back to the US. It's going to be such a waste of superb breastmilk.
I also have to mentally prepare myself for the separation. Right now, I have no clue how I'm getting on that plane without my son. (And no, bringing him wasn't a feasible possibility.) I have one month to work on the separation anxiety.
In other news, Z is knocking those milestones right out of the park. He's a great eater, and, luckily, seems to prefer savory to sweet. He'll eat butternut squash with glee, but makes faces when I try to feed him pear. He's sitting up on his own, and interacts with his toys. He loves hitting objects with his hands. It's a joy to watch him hit the keys on his toy piano, xylophone and drums.  S's passion is music, and Z is going to play at least one instrument. At least.
Now that the weather is warmer, we have been taking more walks, particularly to the local library branches. My passion is books, and Z will have a library card as soon as he says his first word. Which will be mama. Or papa.
We are lovingly pushing our agendas on Z. If nothing else, he will be a well rounded child.