I need to move out of this goddamn neighborhood.
I need to be closer to my friends and the people who matter to me. Because having only one person at your side day in and day out breeds resentment. I can feel it brewing underneath the surface. It comes out subtly, in conversation and actions. No one should have to be my everything.
The incident, it wasn't anything much. At the very least didn't warrant my strong reaction. But I can feel what's going on under the surface.
He did something without telling me. Because I was asleep. When I asked why he didn't wake me up, he said it was because he thought I'd stop him.
And the honest truth is, I don't know if I would have or not. I don't know if I've gone so far away from my self, the person I want to be and thought I was, that I now openly prevent others from doing the things they want to do. Have I really become that controlling?
More importantly, he sees me as that controlling. And therein lies the underlying issue.
So, moving. Because I need it to be easier to see my friends and family. I need perspective.
Also, finding a job. Becoming more financially independent. God, I need my independence back.