Monday, December 20, 2010

Ho hum

Didn't leave the house for three days. Then got over it. Sort of. I'm still stressed, but perhaps I'm handling it better?
Medical procedure went well. They knocked me out. It was awesome.
Now it seems I've caught a stomach flu thingie. Been unable to eat much for the past three days. Being a girl who loves food, this is quite disappointing. Everything makes me want to throw up. Was able to keep down plain boiled potatoes and pasta today. That's about it.

Wondering who still reads this. Kinda hoping that no one does anymore. I haven't told anyone that I started writing here again, and after such a long hiatus it's possible that this little corner of the web is forgotten for good. Who knows if I'll keep updating regularly. Life isn't too interesting these days.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


When it rains it fucking pours.

I just put my boyfriend's acoustic bass on the stand only to have it fall over. It's fallen over before, and it's usually fine. But this time, this one time, the neck breaks. Not just a crack, a full break. The bass is in two pieces.

This is bad. I'm up right now on the couch feeling immense guilt for something that was an accident. It's a fitting end to a long string of unfortunate events.

I lost my wallet on Friday night. But perhaps I should go back one week.

That was when I had my annual checkup. My routine checkup didn't bring back routine results and now I have a procedure scheduled for next Saturday. I found this out on the day of an exam for one of the classes I'm currently throwing money down the drain for.

The exam didn't go well, and I spend much of last week moping around.
Oh yes, our TV also decided to go haywire. Luckily that's still under warranty and will hopefully be fixed tomorrow, a week and a half after we called the problem in.

So on Friday, I finally decided to push myself out of my slump. I needed to take drastic measures. So I cut all my hair off. It was about seven inches. It felt amazing. I decided to take all my cash and all my cards to the hair salon because I wasn't sure what I'd be doing afterward and wanted to be prepared.
The haircut felt so cathartic that I wanted to celebrate a bit. I hadn't seen my friends in a while either. So I went to happy hour where I spent a minimal amount of cash on dirty Kettle One martinis. It felt really good to be out. 

All was right with the world until I discovered on Saturday morning that I didn't come home with my wallet. I distinctly remember picking it up from the bar. I walked half a block to the car.  

I feel really irresponsible. I feel punished. I don't feel like a woman about to turn 30. I have been religously checking my bank and CC accounts online, and so far no fraudulent charges have occurred. I am hoping that the wallet finds its way back to me. I keep asking myself why I had EVERY card with me that night. ID, bank card, credit cards, library card, wholesalers club card, laundry card (Seriously, WTF??), health insurance cards, college ID.

I'm scheduled to be working on Saturday. I can't do it because of the procedure, for which I have to pay out of pocket twice the amount of money I'd be earning that day. I may also be missing work on Sunday, depending on how I feel.

Plus, Christmas presents need to be bought. I have never felt so hopeless about money. I have my days, but this, this fucking shitstorm is really taking everything out of me. And to top everything off, I just broke his bass.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Integrals and derivatives

Here's one of life's little surprises: This girl right here doesn't want the dream she thought she wanted.
Ugh, I hate writing in the third person.

I'm closing in on 30 and I feel more and more like an 18 year old everyday. Confused about life and where it's headed. It's always the same thing. What do I want to be when I grow up?
I figured I'd give the teaching thing a try. Would go to grad school for a masters in middle school math. But first, I needed a few undergrad math credits. So I took two math classes at a local college.
Well, I figured out that I don't like taking math classes. Especially advance ones with anal professors who insist that you remember all the calculus you learned way back in 2000 when you first attempted to be a math major.
On the plus side, that dream is dead. No more imagining the possibilities. I got that s*#@ out of my system.